Don’t Believe Everything You Think
We already know how biased our thoughts are. We are more likely to believe information we hear first (recency bias). We are more likely to believe information that confirms what we’ve previously thought to be true (confirmation bias), just to name a couple of examples. Despite knowing that our memories, perceptions, and processing isn’t perfect, once thoughts are in our head, we believe them to be true. They create patterns of thoughts that we rely on heavily. Our thoughts rarely tell the whole truth, and because they’re in our own head, they’re difficult to be checked, challenged, and corrected. Here’s what’s going on:
Simply put, many thoughts we have in our head are not true. But let’s look at why that’s the case, and why it’s a problem.
The thoughts we have, some true and some not, are based on valid subjective experiences and perceptions. Everyone perceives their life in their own way. Their experiences are REAL. But that doesn’t mean the assumptions they make due to their experiences are TRUE.
Those valid experiences and perceptions are influenced by prior (childhood) experiences and perceptions.
As we go through life, and we have more experiences, the thoughts and assumptions accumulate into a “box,” if you will, in our minds. And we access our “thought box” when we think it applies to a given situation. For example, when we go to drive a car in the rain, our thoughts tell us that it’s less safe than if it were sunny, that the road may be slippery. We might remember that movie we watched where there was a car crash in the rain. We might remember a story a friend told us about skidding off the road. Maybe the story we remember wasn’t even anything we heard or experienced. Was it a dream? Did we read it somewhere? Did we make it up entirely? Anyway, now we’re driving, and our thoughts about driving in the rain are in our head as we go.
We overestimate how related one experience is to another. We generalize to make things make sense. Familiarity = comfortability. We feel better with the sense of “I’ve been through this before, and I’ve gotten through it, so I know it’s okay.” Reality is that almost every experience is different, or at least the circumstances and context of them are. Therefore prior thoughts, perceptions, and experiences are less relevant than we trick ourselves into believing. We put too much weight into past experiences when making future decisions because it’s easier to look back comfortably than to project ahead nervously.
These thoughts we build up create a belief pattern. If you grow up in a home of domestic violence or divorce, a developed belief pattern may be “Love doesn’t really exist.” In sport, these belief patterns create narratives. One common belief pattern or narrative in sport is “underdogs come back to win the game.”
Those belief patterns lead to behaviors. If your belief pattern is “Love doesn’t really exist,” then maybe you avoid dating, are distrustful in relationships, or never let yourself be vulnerable to another person. The belief pattern of “underdogs come back to win games,” might lead you to be nervous and doubt yourself when you’re winning in a game, or it might lead you to never giving up if you’re behind.
Those behaviors lead to consequences. Such as finding a fulfilling relationship, or coming back to win a game that you trailed for the majority of.
Perceptions shape our experiences.
Experiences lead to thoughts.
Thoughts create belief patterns.
Belief patterns dictate our behaviors.
Our behaviors result in consequences.
Think of your most reliable belief pattern. Where did it come from? Are you sure that it’s true?
The process of improving this faulty system that entirely dictates our lives begins with the willingness to concede that many thoughts we have aren’t true. Sometimes our inaccurate thoughts are detrimental, sometimes they’re not. But in any given situation, athletic or otherwise, consciously choose to not believe everything you think.
