Self Talk: Recognizing and Correcting Negative Thoughts

“I think the mind is everything. My parents used to talk to me about how we think and how we talk and the power of language is everything. Really it’s the core of what mental health is.” — Seattle Seahawks Quarterback, Russell Wilson

There’s a conversation going on in your head at all times. It’s happening now as you read this. The voice in your head may be saying, “Get off your phone!” or, “Geez, how long is this blog going to be?” It’s analyzing your actions, decisions, thoughts, and advising you what to do next. It’s the conversation you have with yourself that considers what to say before a conversation, what time you should go to sleep, what needs to get done tomorrow, and tries to decide whether or not someone you care about is thinking of you at the moment.

This conversation is called Self-Talk, which seems like a self-explanatory name. Self-Talk is influenced by your subconscious thoughts and feelings. It considers your true thoughts, values, worries, fears, and creative ideas. In short, Self-Talk is YOU. The behind the scenes you. It influences the behavior, perspective, and decision-making of the real-life you. For better or for worse.

Imagine being stuck with a roommate at all times. That roommate knows everything about you – at least from their perspective. They have opinions and provide insight on all the events that occur in your life. If that roommate were negative and judgmental, that would make for a very long, difficult life. If that roommate were positive and supportive, it would lessen the burden on difficult days, and make easier days even more enjoyable.

Negative Self-Talk takes on many different debilitating forms. In sports, it can severely hinder an athlete’s ability to perform. In life, it could prevent any individual from feeling peaceful and content. The four most common types of negative Self-Talk are:

            Personalizing – Blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong

            Magnifying – Focusing on the negatives and ignoring the positives.

            Catastrophizing – Expecting the worst in any situation

Polarizing – Seeing the world in black and white, despite the fact that life is lived in the grey.

 An example of an athlete having positive vs. negative self-talk:

Negative – I didn’t accomplish my goal, and I’m embarrassed.

Positive – It took courage to attempt that task, and I’m proud of myself for the effort I gave.

Both thoughts can be objectively “true.” It’s up to the individual to decide which thought process to have. Another example of how simply changing some words around can have a great impact on self-esteem:

Negative – I can’t learn the playbook.

Positive – I haven’t been able to learn the playbook yet.

Note the difference between “I can’t” and “I haven’t yet.” The negative Self-Talk is catastrophizing and polarizing. The positive Self-Talk is more accurate, and provides room for improvement.  

Consider the conversation you have in your head. Is it usually positive or negative? Is it supportive or judgmental? Recognize situations where your self-talk may become negative and actively choose to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If you find yourself personalizing, magnifying, catastrophizing, or polarizing a situation, identify that negative automatic thought process and decide to change your perspective.

Our thoughts are IN OUR CONTROL if you decide to take hold of them. After all, your roommate is just you.